


You, Who Are All I Need

by marvel_levram



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cutting, Depressed Peter Parker, Depression, Father-Son Relationship, Feels, Homecoming, Irondad, Irondad talks, Marvel Universe, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not quite sure what relationship, POV Peter Parker, POV Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Self-Harm, Self-Mutilation, Suicidal Peter Parker, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark talks him down, no starker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2020-10-27 07:59:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20756993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvel_levram/pseuds/marvel_levram
Summary: Peter needs to be talked down, but WILL NOT call for help.Terrible summary, just read it, you'll like it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning:  
I write these for my own feel better, I hope it helps you too!

He was so tired of it all. Tired of waking up, tired of going through the motions of living, even tired of Spiderman. There was no excitement, no thrill in anything anymore. So he was done. After all, what was the point of a life you couldn’t feel? It was pain and numbness, that was his identity. He hated who he saw in the mirror, and sometimes that alone was enough to send him into muffled sobs, holding his breath and gasping to be unheard in the amplifying echo of the bathroom. 

Well. No more.

He was done faking, done listening to May ask time and time again, “Why are you so angry?”. He was done giving half hearted I’m fine’s, and done with people accepting them.

It had been months since the plane crash with the Vulture, months since he had put on the suit, and months since any contact with Tony. Or anybody Stark-related, for that matter. He wished he didn’t care -they obviously didn't- but every time his phone rang to tell him Aunt May was working late or Ned asked for the homework, he couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. And angry. So angry. With Tony and Happy, yes, but more so with himself for remaining hopeful, for thinking he was worth more to them than just Spiderman.

Well, he thought, climbing into the red suit. That would end now. He was ready for it all to end now. 

Adrenaline pumping, Peter swung through the city for half an hour before finding a building suitably tall enough to promise his demise. Cold wind rushed through his hair as he pulled his mask off. Shivering, the boy quickly put it back on, asking, “Hey, Karen? How many stories is this building?”

“The building you are currently atop of is sixty four stories tall,” the AI responded.

Peter nodded, reassured. Sixty four was abundantly more than enough. 

He stalled, however. Continuously glancing at his phone, he willed it to ring. Desperately wished that a certain face would appear upon his screen. 

Nothing.

Tears welling in his eyes, Peter carefully held it over the edge, then watched it fall down, down, down, out of sight. Even his enhanced hearing couldn’t detect an end to its descent. Now his turn.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, short, sorry.
> 
> Tag adds: Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant

"Sir," Friday announced, causing Tony to jump and scatter a dozen or so parts. 

"What the hell, Fri?" Tony muttered angrily. "I thought I told you to mute, like, everything." 

"My apologies, sir," the contrite AI said. "You did not give me orders to mute notifications from Karen."

"I'm pretty sure I- Karen?" The man paused midsentence. He couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten a notification from Karen. Come to think of it, she should've been updating him regularily. He'd have to look into that later, Tony mused, muttering for Friday to set a reminder. "What did she want?"

"It is standard protocol for Karen to alert whenever Mr. Parker's suit is put into use."

"No, it isn't. Well, it hasn't been." Tony was absolutely sure he hadn't had an alert like that for a long time, and had assumed Friday simply hadn't deemed it neccessary to tell him anymore.

"Sir," Friday countered, unable to outright contradict the man, "according to the Baby Monitor Protocol, I am to let you know whenever Karen is activated."

"So why haven't you been?"

"I have, sir."

Tony was beyond confused. He _knew_ he hadn't heard from Karen in a long time, yet here his own AI was profusely preaching that she had notified him every last time. Something wasn't adding up, and to Tony, that meant something was very wrong.

"When was Karen last activated, Fri?" he sighed, set on making a point.

"Mr. Parker last used his suit approximately seven months ago, on August 8th."

Tony blinked, standing in perfect silence. "What? No. That's wrong."

The AI didn't seem to know how to respond to that.

"Friday, c'mon love, you've never screwed up before, why start now?"

"It is my belief, sir, that this information is updated and verified," she replied somewhat hesitantly.

"I know, dear. Let's find the problem. Is it Karen? Go through her coding, see if she's all in proper working order."

"On it, sir," Friday replied quickly, seemingly trying to redeem herself. A moment later she said, "Boss, Karen's coding and function is all up to date and to your standards."

"How can that be?" Tony mumbled softly. It was only at this point that he began to contemplate that maybe what Friday had told him was true. There way no way, right? Seven months. 

He shook his head in disbelief.

"So where's the kid now?"

"Mr. Parker is currently moving across downtown Queens, New York, sir."

"Patrolling?"

"It would appear so, sir."

Tony folded his arms. "Huh." 

After some thought, he said, "But he hasn't done this for seven months, correct?"

"Correct, sir."

"Why now?"

"I'm afraid I don't know that, sir."

Now this was just frustrating. Of course, he was surprised he hadn't noticed it himself - sure, he thought about the kid all the time, but figured that when he didn't call or text in the first couple weeks after declining Tony's offer, that he wanted to lead a normal life, Stark and Avenger-free. But that didn't mean he'd thought the boy would stop patrolling altogether. 

Something had to be up, and it shouldn't be a teenager at 3:30am.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter wasn't going to end so abruptly but this is what I have right now so this is what I'll post. I feel kinda bad about waiting so long😄. The thing is, I've been feeling really good. So here. Hope you like it, and stay safe out there. I absolutely love you to the ends of the earth, all of you. You can talk to me, too. My tumblr is siriusly-mybud and I'm so open to anyone❤️. Enjoy.

Peter sat perched on the edge of the roof, three or four feet up from the floor of said roof.

He was in no rush. These were the last few minutes of his life; he figured he should probably try to enjoy them.

Up here, farther away from all the light pollution, Peter could see hundreds of stars. The distant sound of New York city traffic far below him was oddly comforting, and now that he had changed into jeans and a heavy sweater, the chilly night air was welcomed against his neck and cheeks. He really was peaceful, save when remembered what he was here to do; his heart would drop in nervous anticipation every minute or so.

Peter had already stowed his folded suit under a covered part of the roof - just out of courtesy, he knew it was waterproof - and said a meaningful goodbye to Karen, who had finished with "See you later, Peter." Anytime he was ready, he was ready. He admittedly _had_ hoped that maybe Mr. Stark would've called while he was in the suit, but the time for regret _or _doubt was over - and besides, he hadn't _really_ expected too much. 

_Just another minute or two,_ Peter thought, looking down into the bright and busy abyss.

* * *

After three calls gone to voicemail and yet another failed attempt to contact Karen, it was fair to say that Tony Stark was officially worried.

_"Hey, this is Peter Parker. Sorry I guess I'm a little busy right now, but leave a message and I'll get back to you real quick. Bye!"_

"Dammit!" There was a beep, and Tony left a message for what could only be the third or fourth time in his entire life. "Hey, Peter Parker. It's... uh, it's Tony. Where're you at, kid? Karen's GPS says you're chillin' on a roof? Let me know if you need more web fluid or something, 'kay? Bye."

He threw his phone down heavily on the table. "Dammit dammit _dammit_!" He REALLY didn't feel like going out to search for a perfectly capable spider-kid right now, but if there was no response in the next couple minutes, it looked like that's exactly what was going to happen. He vaguely thought that maybe he should phone the kid's aunt but decided against it, thinking there was no reason to worry her with a nearly four o'clock phone call from Tony Stark if he didn't have to. Hell, he wasn't even sure she knew about Spiderman. 

No, there was no need to get into any of that at the moment.

He sighed as he flicked his wrist and a suit assembled around him, the coordinates Karen was reading in the top of his vision.

* * *

Peter didn't know how long it was before he heard a new sound off in the distance. It was familiar enough that he wasn't worried, but when he couldn't pinpoint exactly where he knew it from he looked around to find the source- and almost suffered a shock-induced brain aneurysm, though his hands stuck soundly to the ledge he sat on. A heartrate of about 3,000 beats per minute, he turned back around to catch his breath as the metal shell opened for Tony to step out.

From ten feet away and his back still turned, Peter could hear Tony's slow, steady breathing, and used it to match his.

Damn Tony Stark. Showing up now.

He didn't know what to think. He was pissed, shy, and humiliated all at once, and unsure of whether he was feeling bold or quiet. He wasn't even sure the man had guessed his intentions. Either way, Peter was _not_ going to be the one to start talking. He could wait. He didn't have to wait long, though.

* * *

"Hey, kid."

Not a nod, not a grunt, nothing. 

Having no recollection of doing anything to merit such rejection or really, make the teen mad at him at all, Tony continued.

"What're you doin' up here? Just hanging?"

He was being pointedly ignored, and didn't like it one bit. "You know, I tried to call you." That seemed to get Peter's attention. He sat up just a little straighter.

"Several times, actually. Even left a message, if you can imagine that." He huffed with a turned smile.

Finally, Peter spoke. "Yeah, after seven months."

Tony paused, not quite sure where he was going with that. After all, the man had spent the time thinking that Peter wanted space, not his attention. Peter leaned forward slightly, staring down into the bustling city sixty four floors down. _I could go right now,_ he thought. _Without a glance behind me._

Tony was suddenly nervous, watching the kid lean like that. "Hey? Hey Pete? Why don't you come down from there? Talk to me, 'kay?" He was relieved when the boy turned around to face him, but he remained atop the ledge. Better than nothing.

"What do you want?" Peter huffed. His head was turned down, but his eyes peered up venomously.

"I came to check if you're okay," Tony said lightly with a small shrug. Peter's forehead scrunched up.

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" 

Studying him, Tony thought he was either a very good actor or genuinely confused. "I just know you haven't patrolled in a while,-"

"-Bet you didn't realize 'til tonight-"

"-and when you didn't answer my calls, I wondered what was up." He paused. "I found your suit, where's your phone?"

Peter glanced away. "Don't worry about it."

"Grounded?" Tony guessed.

"What? No."

"Then...?"

"I said don't worry about it!"

"Okay, okay, fine! That can come later." 

"Later?" Peter said, unimpressed. He wished Tony would leave. Let him do this. "You came to see if I'm good, I'm good, so you can leave now."

Tony couldn't imagine the boy was about to throw himself off the building the second he left, but he really wasn't going to chance it.

"See, the thing is, I don't think you're good." He said in a low voice.

_Shit._ "What?"

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! I'll be updating really soon because my chapters are so incredibly short (at least for now).
> 
> MORE COMING VERY SOON.
> 
> Edit: Whoops I guess not "very soon" but I'm hoping to get to more of this!


End file.
